Friday, November 5, 2010

Logline Fest

“Mr. Little, don’t you remember how much fun it is to beat sticks on the ground until they break?” Dusty asked. “Or to run in circles after the neighbor’s dog until you fall down dizzy? Or to tackle and wrestle your best buddy until one of you gets hurt? Man, what’s the point of being a boy if we can’t do any of that? We might as well play with dumb dolls and have tea parties!”

~ from Scott and the Naughty Boy Factory



Like so many others this week, I'm joining Steena's "Logline Blogfest" fun. I'm a little late to the party because I wasn't able to blog yesterday, but better late than never. Right? Right.

Here is the current logline for my chapter book, Scott and the Naughty Boy Factory:
Sure, he’s a bit messy and lazy and likes to pick on his sister, but eight-year-old Scott is stunned when Daddy sends him off to the Naughty Boy Factory, where he’ll have to outwit the evil director and her robot guards in order to avoid the unthinkable—becoming a boring, well-mannered mama’s boy.

Okay...hunting season is now open. Bring it on!

34 comments:

Jemi Fraser said...

Love it!! I can't wait to be able to buy your book :)

Theresa Milstein said...

I laughed the whole way through your logline. In a good way! Wayward boys being made into mama's boys. Love your logline!

Stina Lindenblatt said...

Okay, so we're like supposed to crit this. Well it's impossible to crit perfection. Great voice! :D

salarsenッ said...

I love this!! Can you give me a lesson. I suck at mine. LOL

Jackee said...

I love, love, love the premise, Shannon! :o) Only thing I noticed was a lot of adjectives. Are there any that could be trimmed?

Great work, my friend!

storyqueen said...

I love your log line! It sounds like a book kids would love.

Shelley

roh morgon said...

Naughty Boy Factory - how cute! (although it sounds like a place where they MAKE naughty boys, not nice ones!)

Very dynamic logline - this sounds like it would be a fun read.

Kelly said...

Shannon, your title and premise are absolutely awesome! I love it!

Old Kitty said...

A+++++++++++++!!

Brilliant!! I loved it!!!Well done you!!! Wow!! and I love the snippet from it too!!! What rebel! Take care
x

Diane said...

Love it! Great logline. :O)

Shellie said...

Hi Shannon, nice job, but I'm thinking put Scott up front and break this up into two sentences.

Eight-year- old Scott is a bit messy and lazy and likes to pick on his sister. When his fed-up Daddy sends him to the Naughty Boy(S) Factory, he’ll have to outwit the evil director and her robot guards, and avoid the unthinkable—becoming a boring, well-mannered mama’s boy.

Creepy Query Girl said...

very cute! At first when I read the quote- I thought it'd been taken from an already published book. Your premise is great!

Christina Lee said...

PERFECTION!

Jennie Englund said...

So compelling. And complete! And ironic!

What can we do to bring this boy to life?

Jessie Oliveros said...

I love the idea of a Naughty Boy Factory. Very creative!

Quinn said...

Love the logline -- the voive, the premise, everything!

Heidi Willis said...

That first quote is great!! And your logline is perfectly concise and intriguing.

Elana Johnson said...

Ooh, I like the "mama's boy" at the end. Catchy!

Nicole Zoltack said...

Wow, this is awesome! I wouldn't change a word. :)

Susan J. Reinhardt said...

Hi Shannon -

Great and so much like a boy!

Blessings,
Susan :)

Colene Murphy said...

That sounds incredibly entertaining! Love it! Great line!

Janet Johnson said...

I have to agree with everyone. Sounds like great fun!

Christie Wright Wild said...

Sounds fun! Are you doing this for NaNo?

Emy Shin said...

I don't have any suggestions for improvement because this? IS AWESOME. Sounds so fun! :)

Susan Fields said...

I love it! It shows your voice, which is very hard to do in a logline. Great job!

Robyn Campbell said...

MADE OF AWESOME. :)

Love the idea of this book and the logline. I love everything about it, bff. It is SURE to capture an agent's eye. I looove Scott.

cleemckenzie said...

Okay, you've hooked me with the "bit messy and lazy," the title, and your eight-year-old's self-imposed mission. Excellent.

Mary Aalgaard said...

Fantastic! You have found your inner boy!

Lynn said...

This sounds like it is going to be a fun read!

Clara said...

OMG Shannon, this is so unbelievably awesome, so cute yet smart, perfect logline here, seriously! I'd buy this baby in two secs!

Heather said...

Naughty Boy Factory, LOL! What a fantastic title. That is awesome! Great logline too!

Rachel Morgan said...

Congratulations!!! Just saw that you won! Naughty Boy Factory... I love that!

Cleverly Inked said...

O that was clever

Najela said...

I like this story! Congrats on winning. I don't really read MG, but this might be a story I picked up somewhere. I love the idea and the concept. Congrats once again.

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