Tuesday, February 8, 2011

First Line Blogfest



The First Line Blogfest
Hosted by Brenda Drake


We're supposed to keep our entries posted for a few days, especially with the number of participants.  So, for its encore performance, I present . . . 

My first line:

I crouched in my favorite box elder tree, fourth branch up from the ground and only one branch over from my sister’s piñata.
 
First Parargraph:

Pink pony piñata . . . check.
Invisibility . . . check.
Cup of worms . . . check.
I crouched in my favorite box elder tree, fourth branch up from the ground and only one branch over from my sister’s piñata. The perfect place for a ninja ambush. I just needed those girly girls to come a little bit closer.

Visit Brenda's blog to see the other participants. There are 100!!

29 comments:

Candyland said...

Yay! Love it, Shan!

Juju at Tales of Whimsy.com said...

Wow. That sucked me in.

Kelly said...

Ha! The perfect place for a ninja ambush. You know something fun's going to happen next!

Meredith said...

This is adorable! I love your MC already--yay for ninja ambushes!

Susan R. Mills said...

Nice! I want to read more. :)

Carolyn V said...

LOL! I LOVE it!

Loralie Hall said...

I like this a lot, but wondered if it could use some trimming:

I crouched in my favorite box elder tree, only one branch over from my sister’s piñata.

However, if being the fourth branch up from the ground is important to the plot, leave it.

Either way I'm curious to see what happens next ^_^

Courtney Barr - The Southern Princess said...

love love love it!!!!!!

Janet Johnson said...

So fun! Your book sounds like a riot. :)

A. Grey said...

I love this one! As an avid tree-climber, I was totally drawn in by your description and felt like I was in the tree!

Angela Ackerman said...

Very neat idea for a blogfest! :)

Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse

Amanda said...

Cute!

K. Harrington said...

Thanks for sharing this. Like your first line! :)

Nisa said...

Everything there to make a great beginning? Check! Very cute, Shannon!

Catherine Denton said...

This grabbed me. I SO want to know what he does to that pinata!

Kimberly Franklin said...

Love it! :)

Candice said...

I like it! I could totally picture it and the voice was so fun!

Stephanie Thornton said...

Love it! The whole paragraph is so fun!

Melissa Gill said...

Oh that sounds just like a little boy I know. His sister better watch out.

Karen Lange said...

Love this. I knew it, you are one cool first line amigo. :)

Old Kitty said...

Oh the paragraph is brilliant!!! I love this paragraph!! LOL!!! Yay!! Thank you for sharing!! Well done you! take care
x

Theresa Milstein said...

That's a great start! I'd love to know what she's going to do to her sister's pinata.

Corey Schwartz said...

Oh, Shannon... LOVE it! Is the manuscript done? I want to read more!!!

Janna Qualman said...

It's awesome, Shannon! Loved your strong start.

Jemi Fraser said...

Perfect! Don't change a thing! :)

Shooting Stars Mag said...

aw, how cute! I posted mine as well...I'm not good with ONE first strong sentence. It's normally just throwing you in the story and you have to keep reading. lol

-Lauren

Stephen Tremp said...

I just came from there and entered. I see some really good ones. Lots of talented writers out there in Blogdom!

RaShelle said...

I have to say I absolutely LOVE IT!!!

J.C. Martin said...

Liking the voice in this! I agree with a previous post that if the fourth branch is an unnecessary detail, leave it out, as it disrupts the flow of the sentence.

My suggestion:

"I crouched in my favorite box elder tree, one branch above from my sister’s piñata, the perfect place for a ninja ambush."

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