
Writers Anonymous: A 3 Step Program
[Step One: Resentment]
Hi, My name is Quentin.
I'm a write-a-holic.
I can't control it, can't curb
the urge to write.
I need help.
I want my life back.
[Step Two: Commitment]
I write poems on fast food napkins,
with toothpicks, using ketchup for ink.
I jot ideas for poems
on my arms and legs. When I run out of space,
I use my shoes.
I make motions
similar to Michael Jackson's moonwalk
when I need to erase.
I make up stories
while making love to my wife.
She left me. Who needs her?
She was suffocating my creativity.
I await submission replies
like an addict, hands trembling,
head shaking in disbelief.
Not another bout with rejection!
I'm manic depressive.
I'm happy to be here.
No I'm not.
I live for revision.
Instead of sex, I have poems.
I eat feedback.
[Step 3: Contentment]
As a recovering write-a-holic,
admitting my problem
has provided a much needed catharsis.
Joining this nurturing group has
(Excuse me,
but are you going to throw away that paper cup?
That's good paper!)
taught me to reconcile my past
and move forward.~ Quentin HuffAre you in denial?
Maybe we can help you find a support group near you!
Happy Monday!
Bahahaha!! That was hilarious!! Loved it! I felt like that this weekend. Had to take a mental health day... so I planted a tree. :D
ReplyDeleteBoy, the part about awaiting submission replies like an addict....that sounds a little too familiar!
ReplyDeleteVery funny and yes I can relate to the submission, not so sure about the sex part.
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious, Shannon!
ReplyDeleteVery funny! I've been scribbling a lot lately, especially in the middle of the night.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Writing is an addiction.
ReplyDeleteLOL. Thanks for the much-needed laugh this morning!
ReplyDeleteSo funny - I definitely need a support group. Or a maid :)
ReplyDeleteha ha ha I'm peeing my pants! Love this. When I thought of my blog name, I had a giggle that its abbrev., would be 'AA'. LOL - I thought the blog could be like AA meetings. hehehehe
ReplyDeleteLOL. That made my day! Thanks, Shannon!
ReplyDeleteWhat an entertaining read! Thanks for posting!
ReplyDeleteOMG, too funny. And perfect!
ReplyDeleteahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa
ReplyDeleteI LOVE YOUUUUU
Bahahaha Shannon this is hilarious!!! Perfect for a Monday!
ReplyDeleteROFL! That is just too funny!
ReplyDeletelol! Oh, now that made my Monday!!
ReplyDeleteI like it, but does ketchup really double as ink and how?
ReplyDeleteThis cracked me up! Thanks for the Monday funnies!
ReplyDeleteHa! Doubly funny because it's so true.
ReplyDeleteROTFLMAO! That was perfect. :)
ReplyDeleteAhahahahaaha Thanks for making me laugh. All true. Uh, er, *blush* except for the end of step two. *grin*
ReplyDeleteI miss you so very much Shannon. I'll be back the 26th. Back and querying that day too.
*giant hugs* for my pal Shannon. I hope life is great for you.
I am in love with that poem. Thank you for the inspiration. Are we in the same support group?
ReplyDeleteConfession: I've done some writing in the white spaces of the church bulletin.
Hilarious! Thanks for the smile!
ReplyDeleteOMGosh! I was totally thinking that we needed some kind of writer's rehab program just the other day. I would not have written a post as great as this though. Loved it!
ReplyDeleteI loves it! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteHa!!! Funny!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for this, Shannon! Happy monday!!
ReplyDeleteLOL, very funny. Great post, thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeletehahaha, nice! I loved this post! Thanks so much for sharing this laugh - I needed it today!
ReplyDeleteChange wife to husband and that's totally me...*blushes*
ReplyDeleteLol. Made me laugh. Happy Monday to you too:)
ReplyDeleteToo cute!
ReplyDeleteThis is so me. Well almost me. I don't have poems. And my husband's not going anywhere. :D
ReplyDeleteShannon, oh dear. Guess this is overdue. Here goes: "Hi, my name is Roxane, and I'm a writaholic." There. I've said it. That's the first step, write? I mean, er, right? :)
ReplyDeleteMy husband better not read this post or he'll be looking for a support group for me immediately!
ReplyDeleteOh my...Thanks for posting this:)
ReplyDeleteThis is hysterical! I'm not that far gone... yet.
ReplyDeleteROFL! That.is.awesome.
ReplyDeleteWow, you are the best, S!
ReplyDeleteThe moonwalk part was hilarious!
ReplyDeleteHa! Thanks for the smile. I won't tell you how many receipts I've saved to write on ...
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely loved the poem!!!!
ReplyDeleteLOL Knowing I'm not the only one actually makes my problem worse. It makes me think I'm justified. :) Love it.
ReplyDeleteDo you find these wonderful, inspirational, funny things?
ReplyDeleteOr do they have a way of finding YOU???
TOOOOOOOOOO Funny! Thanks for the laugh!
ReplyDeleteOkay, that was HILARIOUS! I'd like to join his group...can I bring all my pocket notepads? Maybe I better wear something with extra pockets, like a flyfishing vest.....
ReplyDeleteI think we all have a little Quentin in all of us!
ReplyDeleteOh, this was BRILLIANT! Now that he's single, maybe he should call me.
ReplyDeleteOh wow! I love that!
ReplyDelete