Tuesday, February 8, 2011

First Line Blogfest



The First Line Blogfest
Hosted by Brenda Drake


We're supposed to keep our entries posted for a few days, especially with the number of participants.  So, for its encore performance, I present . . . 

My first line:

I crouched in my favorite box elder tree, fourth branch up from the ground and only one branch over from my sister’s piñata.
 
First Parargraph:

Pink pony piñata . . . check.
Invisibility . . . check.
Cup of worms . . . check.
I crouched in my favorite box elder tree, fourth branch up from the ground and only one branch over from my sister’s piñata. The perfect place for a ninja ambush. I just needed those girly girls to come a little bit closer.

Visit Brenda's blog to see the other participants. There are 100!!

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28 comments:

  1. CandylandFebruary 8, 2011 at 8:30 AM

    Yay! Love it, Shan!

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  2. Kelly PolarkFebruary 8, 2011 at 8:31 AM

    Ha! The perfect place for a ninja ambush. You know something fun's going to happen next!

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  3. MeredithFebruary 8, 2011 at 8:45 AM

    This is adorable! I love your MC already--yay for ninja ambushes!

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  4. Susan R. MillsFebruary 8, 2011 at 8:51 AM

    Nice! I want to read more. :)

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  5. Carolyn VFebruary 8, 2011 at 9:03 AM

    LOL! I LOVE it!

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  6. Loralie HallFebruary 8, 2011 at 9:12 AM

    I like this a lot, but wondered if it could use some trimming:

    I crouched in my favorite box elder tree, only one branch over from my sister’s piñata.

    However, if being the fourth branch up from the ground is important to the plot, leave it.

    Either way I'm curious to see what happens next ^_^

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  7. Courtney Barr - The Southern PrincessFebruary 8, 2011 at 9:13 AM

    love love love it!!!!!!

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  8. Janet JohnsonFebruary 8, 2011 at 9:17 AM

    So fun! Your book sounds like a riot. :)

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  9. Artemis GreyFebruary 8, 2011 at 9:19 AM

    I love this one! As an avid tree-climber, I was totally drawn in by your description and felt like I was in the tree!

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  10. Angela AckermanFebruary 8, 2011 at 9:43 AM

    Very neat idea for a blogfest! :)

    Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse

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  11. Amanda BonillaFebruary 8, 2011 at 10:28 AM

    Cute!

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  12. Karen HarringtonFebruary 8, 2011 at 10:57 AM

    Thanks for sharing this. Like your first line! :)

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  13. UnknownFebruary 8, 2011 at 11:01 AM

    Everything there to make a great beginning? Check! Very cute, Shannon!

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  14. Catherine DentonFebruary 8, 2011 at 11:10 AM

    This grabbed me. I SO want to know what he does to that pinata!

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  15. Kimberly FranklinFebruary 8, 2011 at 12:11 PM

    Love it! :)

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  16. CandiceFebruary 8, 2011 at 1:03 PM

    I like it! I could totally picture it and the voice was so fun!

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  17. Stephanie ThorntonFebruary 8, 2011 at 1:45 PM

    Love it! The whole paragraph is so fun!

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  18. Melissa GillFebruary 8, 2011 at 1:58 PM

    Oh that sounds just like a little boy I know. His sister better watch out.

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  19. Karen LangeFebruary 8, 2011 at 2:18 PM

    Love this. I knew it, you are one cool first line amigo. :)

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  20. Old KittyFebruary 8, 2011 at 3:28 PM

    Oh the paragraph is brilliant!!! I love this paragraph!! LOL!!! Yay!! Thank you for sharing!! Well done you! take care
    x

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  21. Theresa MilsteinFebruary 8, 2011 at 4:05 PM

    That's a great start! I'd love to know what she's going to do to her sister's pinata.

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  22. Corey SchwartzFebruary 8, 2011 at 4:25 PM

    Oh, Shannon... LOVE it! Is the manuscript done? I want to read more!!!

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  23. Janna LeadbetterFebruary 8, 2011 at 5:40 PM

    It's awesome, Shannon! Loved your strong start.

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  24. Jemi FraserFebruary 8, 2011 at 6:34 PM

    Perfect! Don't change a thing! :)

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  25. Shooting Stars MagFebruary 8, 2011 at 7:35 PM

    aw, how cute! I posted mine as well...I'm not good with ONE first strong sentence. It's normally just throwing you in the story and you have to keep reading. lol

    -Lauren

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  26. AnonymousFebruary 8, 2011 at 8:37 PM

    I just came from there and entered. I see some really good ones. Lots of talented writers out there in Blogdom!

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  27. RaShelle WorkmanFebruary 8, 2011 at 10:16 PM

    I have to say I absolutely LOVE IT!!!

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  28. J.C. MartinFebruary 9, 2011 at 3:21 PM

    Liking the voice in this! I agree with a previous post that if the fourth branch is an unnecessary detail, leave it out, as it disrupts the flow of the sentence.

    My suggestion:

    "I crouched in my favorite box elder tree, one branch above from my sister’s piñata, the perfect place for a ninja ambush."

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