“Mr. Little, don’t you remember how much fun it is to beat sticks on the ground until they break?” Dusty asked. “Or to run in circles after the neighbor’s dog until you fall down dizzy? Or to tackle and wrestle your best buddy until one of you gets hurt? Man, what’s the point of being a boy if we can’t do any of that? We might as well play with dumb dolls and have tea parties!”~ from Scott and the Naughty Boy Factory
Like so many others this week, I'm joining Steena's "Logline Blogfest" fun. I'm a little late to the party because I wasn't able to blog yesterday, but better late than never. Right? Right.
Here is the current logline for my chapter book, Scott and the Naughty Boy Factory:
Sure, he’s a bit messy and lazy and likes to pick on his sister, but eight-year-old Scott is stunned when Daddy sends him off to the Naughty Boy Factory, where he’ll have to outwit the evil director and her robot guards in order to avoid the unthinkable—becoming a boring, well-mannered mama’s boy.
Okay...hunting season is now open. Bring it on!
34 comments:
Love it!! I can't wait to be able to buy your book :)
I laughed the whole way through your logline. In a good way! Wayward boys being made into mama's boys. Love your logline!
Okay, so we're like supposed to crit this. Well it's impossible to crit perfection. Great voice! :D
I love this!! Can you give me a lesson. I suck at mine. LOL
I love, love, love the premise, Shannon! :o) Only thing I noticed was a lot of adjectives. Are there any that could be trimmed?
Great work, my friend!
I love your log line! It sounds like a book kids would love.
Shelley
Naughty Boy Factory - how cute! (although it sounds like a place where they MAKE naughty boys, not nice ones!)
Very dynamic logline - this sounds like it would be a fun read.
Shannon, your title and premise are absolutely awesome! I love it!
A+++++++++++++!!
Brilliant!! I loved it!!!Well done you!!! Wow!! and I love the snippet from it too!!! What rebel! Take care
x
Love it! Great logline. :O)
Hi Shannon, nice job, but I'm thinking put Scott up front and break this up into two sentences.
Eight-year- old Scott is a bit messy and lazy and likes to pick on his sister. When his fed-up Daddy sends him to the Naughty Boy(S) Factory, he’ll have to outwit the evil director and her robot guards, and avoid the unthinkable—becoming a boring, well-mannered mama’s boy.
very cute! At first when I read the quote- I thought it'd been taken from an already published book. Your premise is great!
PERFECTION!
So compelling. And complete! And ironic!
What can we do to bring this boy to life?
I love the idea of a Naughty Boy Factory. Very creative!
Love the logline -- the voive, the premise, everything!
That first quote is great!! And your logline is perfectly concise and intriguing.
Ooh, I like the "mama's boy" at the end. Catchy!
Wow, this is awesome! I wouldn't change a word. :)
Hi Shannon -
Great and so much like a boy!
Blessings,
Susan :)
That sounds incredibly entertaining! Love it! Great line!
I have to agree with everyone. Sounds like great fun!
Sounds fun! Are you doing this for NaNo?
I don't have any suggestions for improvement because this? IS AWESOME. Sounds so fun! :)
I love it! It shows your voice, which is very hard to do in a logline. Great job!
MADE OF AWESOME. :)
Love the idea of this book and the logline. I love everything about it, bff. It is SURE to capture an agent's eye. I looove Scott.
Okay, you've hooked me with the "bit messy and lazy," the title, and your eight-year-old's self-imposed mission. Excellent.
Fantastic! You have found your inner boy!
This sounds like it is going to be a fun read!
OMG Shannon, this is so unbelievably awesome, so cute yet smart, perfect logline here, seriously! I'd buy this baby in two secs!
Naughty Boy Factory, LOL! What a fantastic title. That is awesome! Great logline too!
Congratulations!!! Just saw that you won! Naughty Boy Factory... I love that!
O that was clever
I like this story! Congrats on winning. I don't really read MG, but this might be a story I picked up somewhere. I love the idea and the concept. Congrats once again.
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